ARKHAM is the new BLACKgate (An Ongoing Series)!
by bethsometimes
Summary: So like a lot of people Ive recently become obsessed with Orange Is The New Black and I had this idea/daydream to take 'prison lifestyle' and adapt that into Arkham? A series of Oneshots and Stories about our favourite DC villains (ngl it'll most likely end up centring around Joker&Harley) Expect oodles of sarcasm, sex, swearing, riddles, coin flipping- maybe even some fluff! ENJOY


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my words and my mind. DC owns everything else.**

 **Authors Note: So like a lot of people Ive recently become obsessed with** _ **Orange Is The New Black**_ **(** _ **If you haven't seen it I HIGHLY encourage you do to so!**_ **)**

 **ANNYYYWAY I had this idea/daydream of taking the tales of like... 'prison lifestyle' and adapting that into Arkham? In BTAS theres lots of little glimpses into that but very rarely do we see the characters interacting like... day to day? So my idea was to write a series of oneshots/stories about exactly that! THUS I HAVE CREATED THIS! The way I'm imagining it is like TV series form (** _ **I did media at college so believe me I studied television to death!**_ **) so thats how Im gonna attempt to write it... as like little scenes? So yeah reviews or feedback would be nice? Tell me if you like the idea? Shoot me a few ideas if you really want but trust me my head is SWIMMIN with erm! Like always I appreciate a lil constructive criticism but then this is MY imagination were talking about... SO BE NICE!**

 **On another short note Iv'e had a few really sooopa dooopa sweet reviews which have been both encouraging and ego boosting ;) SO THANKS PUDDINS!**

Batman had been doing some serious overtime. Jim Gordon had issued a statement standing proudly in front of the GCPD. He declared that over the last 2 months Batman had successfully hunted down and rounded up every crook and common thug, the streets were finally safe again! He beamed a glorious smile when he continued on to say this included all the "freaks in a halloween costume". Meaning that for the first time in years every single high profile, high risk and extremely dangerous criminal in Gotham now resided safely inside the walls of Arkham. Well... all but one.

 **-A-**

The 'Maximum Security' sector at Arkham had started as a single wing in the main building. Over the years however, the number of patients had exploded. So had the Asylum on various occasion. The Drs had struggled to cope and now MS was an entirely separate complex in the centre of the Asylum grounds. The building was made up of four separate wings, long rectangular corridors of cells that formed a square. At the corners of each were heavily guarded checkpoints. The idea was to keep patients to certain areas at a time. Each was numbered and accounted for at all times. That was the idea anyway. The common room and a reasonably sized garden were in the middle of the complex and were accessed through a set of large steel doors and a heavily monitored corridor leading off from the East wing. The entire building was surrounded by electric fencing despite being in the middle of Arkham. Four watch towers at each corner of the complex. Each cell was little bigger than your average teenagers bedroom. Three walls were concrete reinforced by solid steel. The outfacing wall made of reinforced Gorilla glass, completely bullet proof, shatter proof and Bane proof. Maximum security patients would remain in their cells for 19 hours a day. During the daytime guards patrolled the corridors every 15 minutes. During the night the security doubled. Security systems were scanned regularly for bugs and checkpoints constantly refreshed records of who had gone between wings and when. Doctors had to clock in and out of their offices whenever and keep record who visited them. The 5 hours a patient was out of their cell included a private session with their Doctor and an hour of group therapy in the afternoon. Breakfast and lunch were each an hour long and served in the cafeteria in the North wing. The final hour was free time.

 **-Arkham Maximum Security Common Room-**

There is one couch in the common room. Right now Poison Ivy sat on the far right side with her feet resting on the coffee table in front. She is reading _The Secret Garden_ and every so often glanced out the window to stare at the rose bushes she planted outside. Originally she planned to plant pink roses but after repeated bursts of pleading from Jervis she agreed to plant alternating bushes of white and red. The Mad Hatter had a perfect view of the garden from the window of his room in the West Wing, he had kissed Ivy's cheek during breakfast one morning, "You created the Queen of Hearts garden!" Right now he sat on the right armrest of the couch next to Ivy, like everyone else he had his eyes glued to the screen. There was one small television in the room, opposite the couch and right now it was broadcasting breaking news. Although the couch was only really big enough for two everyone in the room was crowded around it somehow. Selina was kneeling on the floor besides Ivy's legs twirling a loose threat of her sleeve around her finger aimlessly with her eyes fixed on the screen. To the side of the coach was a single armchair in which sat The Ventriloquist, rocking back and forth casually with Scarface on his lap. Victor Fries and Bane were standing at far opposite sides of the coach, with his eyes on the screen Victor reflected on how desperately he desired to open the window and let in the cold air. Scarecrow and Riddler stood behind the couch learning in on their elbows as they too stared at the screen perplexed. Two Face sat on the left armrest, Harvey Dent's mouth was dropped in a surprised and fascinated 'O' shape... well sort of. Two Face continued to scowl angrily, although his eyes were just as surprised as Harvey's. In the middle of the all sat the Joker. He positioned himself towards the middle of the coach, he shifted his weigh. Leaning back more casually, stretching out his legs he kicked Catwoman and she hissed at him. Ivy frowned at him disapprovingly but responded simply by shifting further over to the right. He relaxed his arms on the back of the coach as Eddie and Jonathan stood up straight. Nobody took their eyes off the screen. There was the sound of sirens on screen and now Ivy looked up from her book to glance at the events unfolding. The Joker threw back his head and laughed happily, closing his eyes he sunk down into his seat happily. Even the guards at the door were now craning their necks to get a look at the television. As the sound of sirens grew louder the Joker sighed, content.

" _Breaking news from Gotham City! Harley Quinn has just robbed the First National Bank and reportedly made off with an incredible $7 million! GCPD officers are trailing her now and are advising everyone to get off the streets and head to safety! I repeat, refrain from driving, stay... wait.. wait I think thats.. Yes.. YES IT'S BATMAN! BATMAN IS COMING UP FAST ON QUINN! Oh gosh this is so exciting..."_

"Riddle me this..." Began Eddie, he stared down at the Joker who looked up to face him and opened one eye in response, his arrogant smile still shining. "How is it that Harley is doing a job without you, a HUGE job at that... I mean, she's just stolen seven mil without you J...and YET you sit here grinning like a cheshire cat?" From his position on the arm rest Jervis scoffed but his eyes didn't leave the screen. The joker drooped his head and began to tut. "Honestly Eddie I thought you were supposed to be the smart one! HA!" All eyes suddenly met in confusion. They rested on the Joker but it was Harvey that spoke, "You mean.. you _ain't_ upset she's done it without you?" The Joker threw back his head and began to laugh historically, slapping Harvey on the knee. Ivy sighed irritated, she put down her book and turned to face the large group behind her. "She's not done it _without_ him idiots. She's doing it _for_ him. Honestly." There was a unanimous sigh of understanding followed by a few nods of approval from Scarecrow and Victor. The Joker folded his arms in his lap and continued to smile gleefully at the screen, hoping she didn't screw it up now.

On the screen an overhead shot of Harley's car was being played. The Batmobile came up fast behind her and although she tired to swerve and turn dramatically in the opposite direction it was no use. The sunny excited voice of the newsreader narrated the events on screen whilst in the background the sound of her camera crew rushing to the scene could be heard. Harley was now being dragged from her car by Batman as crowds of people and police officers stood around applauding wildly.

Two Face slapped Joker on the shoulder, leaving his hand there for a short moment, "Sorry J, looks like they got her." Free Time was almost over and it seemed everyone had now lost interest knowing Harley was in cuffs. Slowly they began to rise and salter off to separate parts of the common room. Ivy continued to read her book and Victor started playing with the fermistat by the door. It had been fun for a while they thought.

" _I can confirm folks that Batman has just apprehended Quinn! Amazing... Jim Gordon is placing her in handcuffs as we speak and.. OH HERE COMES THE AMBULANCE NOW! I didn't know they took people to Arkham in an ambulance? Andy did you know tha... Oh erm... It appears Batman is still searching Miss Quinn's vehicle! Wheres all that money? Wait lets see if we can get in closer.. Andy move the cam.. I SAID MOVE THE GOD DAMN CAMERA!"_

The camera shakily ran towards Batman and Harley. She stood in cuffs being held by two doctors whilst Batman leaned towards her threateningly. She smiled up at him wickedly with her baby blues narrowed, her mouth twisted into the most beautifully smug smile. Off to the side Jim Gordon could be seen scratching his head in confusion. "Wheres the money Harley!" came Batman's low voice, aggression and frustration swimming off him. She simply beamed back, "Money? What Money ya talkin' about Batsy?" His eyes narrowed angrily and his snarl was visible through the television. He turned, noticing the cameras Batman immediately straightened himself, relaxing his posture. Eddie turned once again to face the Tv and then at Joker who was still positively gleaming. "Riddle me this... Harley just LOST 7 million dollars and you're still smiling? Why?" The attention in the room started to graduate back to the screen. Joker's smile widened. "All part of the plan Ed."

Batman was looking sorrowfully at Harley's car. He'd seen her running from the bank with the stolen cash. He was sure, in fact she had jumped into the car.. this car with it. Cops had been tailing her the whole time before he swooped in. There's no way she could have dumped it... and it couldn't just vanish! "Whoooopsie me!" Guess I'm magic huh Bats!" chimed Harley hysterically as she was lifted into the back of the ambulance. The doors slammed but her high, whimsical laughter could still be heard clearly, even as she was driven away. Inside the common room an alarm sounded signifying the need for all inmates to return to their cells. On the way down the hall the Joker took a comb from his pants pocket and began to smooth back his hair. He turned his head right and left, gazing at his reflection in the glass of the cells he passed. Next to him Harvey eyed him questionably. "What are you doing?" he growled.

"Gotta look good for my girl!" He turned to look at Two Face as he walked into his cell, the glass rising and then falling behind him. "You really should try it some time Harv!" He quickly shot Two Face one last glorious smile. "...even your good side is starting to look ugly! Hahahaha!"

" _It appears three cops and nine citizens were killed during this mornings robbery at the First National Bank. A 6 year old girl and a 75 year old man were amongst the victims. As well as a small handful of diamonds an estimated total of $7million was stolen and... it appears... is now missing. GCPD have assured us that they will be working closely with Batman to identify the location of the missing money. Harley Quinn will be returned to Arkham Asylum for another round of rehabilitation. Her capture signifies the last of Gotham's high risk criminals to be returned to Arkham in just under three months. Unfortunately for the victims of todays terrible crime, it has come too late."_

 **Authors Note: So as well as titles and plot summaries and spelling it appears I also suck at description! When writing this I had such a clear picture of what I thought Arkham Asylum MS might look like. In my head anyway. Just because I love ya's I drew up a quick sketch for the purpose of aiding imagination! It should be at...**

 **photos/134504322 N03/shares/zP241C**

 **...but let me know if you cant view it. HOPE YOU ENJOYED! MWUAH!**


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